Ketchup is God's man juice
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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