you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
