a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
