you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Panties = found
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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