i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
