can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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