you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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