im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
