So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
