Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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