do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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