I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
