I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
