after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This is my life. Enjoy the view
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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