He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
