I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
