Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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