wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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