Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
