Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
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