Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
