Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he thought i was a dude.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
