You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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