And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
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