Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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