I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Randomize
