did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
where are my eyebrows?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
