she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
