she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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