R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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