Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
