my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
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Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
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Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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