Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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