cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i think i have two assholes
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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