escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I have fence marks all over my body
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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