rhymes with "ouble enetration"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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