I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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