you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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