If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
