She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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