On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
