Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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