She said her name was "party"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
