Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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