I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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