i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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