Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
