great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
