You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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