i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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