I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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