and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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