So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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