My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
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