how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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