You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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