I bet he comes in French.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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