I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
