Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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