tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
