How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
