wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize