they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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