oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
