Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
